Real Men Love . . . Abstinence by ybpguide.com

 

"Young Black Professional Guide" - 1 new article Real Men Love . . . Abstinence A funny thing happened on the way to sexual freedom; we began to divorce sex from our spirituality. And, when we did it became a commodity, commerce, a bargaining tool, a hobby- like reading a book, or tennis lessons. Sex is natural and healthy. Iyanla Vanzant writes that a sexual encounter is a powerful experience in which bodies can share pleasure, with or without the benefit of intimacy. However unless we are very careful and very honest with ourselves, when we separate sex from intimacy we open the door to disappointment, obsession and broken relationships. The issue is that it is unexceptional to believe or rely upon the feelings of attraction and infatuation that often drive our physical urges. In " Love: The Chemical Reaction" Lauren Slater reported ways in which the release of dopamine and the brain chemistry of infatuation is akin to mental illness—which gives new meaning to "madly in love." She wrote about how unreliable and misleading those sensations can be. "It is why, when you are newly in love, you can stay up all night, watch the sun rise, run a race, ski fast down a slope ordinarily too steep for your skill." Knowing how powerful and sometimes delusory the sexual influence can be, it is important to know yourself, know your susceptibility and have defined boundaries before you engage. To be sure everyone is not looking for a life-long partner or earth-shattering experience every time they "hook up." But, perhaps they should be. In a recent message my Reverend, Karen Epps, commented that it is not who you are sleeping with, but why you are sleeping with them that is important. Like Samson she suggested that when we separate ourselves from our divinity ( like Samson, did when he told Delilah the source of his power) we are weakened. Maybe we confuse sex with love; because sex feels good, Iyanla writes, we often mistake our sexual experiences for true giving and receiving of love. Maybe we compromise a relationship we are already in, or what we said we wanted sex to mean to us personally. If you are one of the men for whom the old saying "men think about sex every seven seconds" is true, is it time to consider whether there is something healthier, more edifying and encouraging to meditate on? If it is true that as a man thinketh so is he, don't you want to be more than the average man has managed thus far? If the average American has sex before marriage, does not marry after living together (and presumably having sex), and gets divorced, maybe it's time to do something different. Unless we make concerted efforts to have unique experiences then I fully believe that our stories won't be any different than the stories of broken relationships, divorces and infidelity that come before us. If you are having sex to get off and you feel like you could be doing it with any catalogue of persons at a given time, then you are doing little more than using someone else to masturbate. And, that could be fine for you, just make sure it's okay for that person, too. And, make sure you have really asked yourself if that is all you want; to see the world through a flesh-colored lens, and experience people like sample spoons at Baskin Robins. Or ask yourself if you believe there is more? Is it worth it to know more about yourself, and your limits and what's important to you by not giving in to your obvious, average, expected to desire to get off? Haven't you had enough practice getting off? There is power in sex. And that power can be used to lift you and your partner up, or to do nothing special at all. And, don't think your spirituality and God are not a part of it. Scripture has wonderful things to say about sex. The ultimate goal is to do all things to the glory of God. So query: are your sexual experiences the highest expression of you and the divine image and spirit of God inside you? It is no coincidence that in "The Abstinence" episode of Seinfeld George discovers his intellect and abilities were on the rise while sexless. If I was a trainer and told you that ten weeks of exercise and a healthy diet could give you the body of your dreams you would believe me. But if as a regular, celibate man I told you that spending a little more time not chasing orgasms might help you get closer to the real you, could you believe that?

Homeless Ministry - Clothing Drive- Need your help please!

Really need all the help at the church (St. Matthew Baptist Church, Raleigh, NC) that we can get as I would like to sort what we will be donating and organize the clothing in preparation for our visit from the Homeless on Sunday, April 29th.

Message from Rev. Brickle:

Blessings upon you,
We are in need of help this Saturday, we have an enormous amount of clothes that we will be giving to the less fortunate on April 28th and May 4th. We have to separate all of the clothing to get ready to distribute these items to the less fortunate.

We will be separating on Saturday April 14th from 8:00 am until 12:00 noon at the Public Storage on Yonkers Rd in Raleigh. If you cannot come for the entire time we understand an appreciate any amount of time you may be able to assist. If you have clothes to donate please bring them to the site on Saturday April 14th or call Rev. Phil Brickle @ (919 - 217-2995)

Also if you know someone who is in need of clothing right away please inform them of this day we will be giving clothes away on the day of separation.
For those who are out of state or unable to make this Saturday we continually ask for your prayers. If the weather does not permit we will separate on the following Saturday April 21st
I love you all and God Bless Phil Brickle

Thank You!!
Maria E. Stafford,